domingo, 1 de janeiro de 2012

Use esse ano sensatamente ou você inevitavelmente morrerá

Se é pra acabar o mundo, que seja por um Sonic Attack!

Sonic Attack (Hawkwind)

In case of Sonic Attack on your district, follow these rules:

If you are making love it is imperative to bring all bodies to orgasm simultaneously.
Do not waste time blocking your ears.
Do not waste time seeking a "sound proofed" shelter.
Try to get as far away from the sonic source as possible
Do not panic
Do not panic

Use your wheels. It is what they are for.
Small babies may be placed inside the special cocoons
and should be left, if possible, in shelters.
Do not attempt to use your own limbs.
If no wheels are available - metal - not organic -
limbs should be employed whenever practical.

In the case of sonic attack survival means
"Every man for himself"
Statistically more people survive if they think
only of themselves
Do not attempt to rescue friends, relatives, loved ones
You have only a few seconds to escape
Use those seconds sensibly or you will inevitably die
Think only of yourself
Think only of yourself
Do not panic
Think only of yourself
Think only of yourself

These are the first signs of sonic attack:
You will notice small objects - such as ornaments - oscillating
You will notice vibrations in your diaphragm
You will hear a distand hissing in your ears
You will feel the need to vomit
You will feel dizzy
You will have difficulty focussing
You will need to breathe more rapidly
There will be bleeding from orifices
There will be an ache in the pelvic region
You may be subject to fits of hysterical shouting or even laughter

These are all sign of imminent sonic destruction
Your only protection is flight
If you are less than ten years old
Remain in your shelter and use your cocoon
Remember - you can help no one else
You can help no one else
You can help no one else
Do not panic
Think only of yourself...